Have you ever revisited a game that when it came out originally, you really didn’t connect with? Only to find that on a second playthrough you discovered it was the greatest thing ever? Well that happened recently with me and Henry Hatsworth on the NDS. When my wife went into labour recently, being the rational human being she is, she begged for every bit of pain killing drug that was legally permissible in the People’s Republic of Canada. Nubane, an epidural, hell even some Gravol was thrown into the mix to keep her from puking as well as to assist in keeping her unconscious for the better part of twelve hours. Essentially, my wife had enough drugs in her to drop a Clydesdale.
So it was that I found myself sitting in a delivery room with nothing to do but play handheld games on my DS or my iPhone. I was in heaven. The nurses periodically would bring snacks or juice for my drugged-out wife, which I would promptly consume as quickly as possible, and I would immerse myself in the colour-matching action platforming goodness of Henry Hatsworth in the Puzzling Adventure. Not since Final Fantasy III on the NDS also have I so completely lost myself in a simple grinding mechanic. Matching colours and power ups for my Special and Puzzle Meters and the simple button mashing combat just clicked for me where before it came across as just frustrating and shallow.
The problem arose during labour when one of the nurses turned to me and asked what I was playing on my DS and did I think that her 9 year old daughter would like it. I told her it was Chinatown Wars and that she should totally get it for the little darling. Apparently even the mention of videogames while Mandy was pushing a hairy grapefruit out of her hoo-hoo was not a pleasing experience and she was a tad grumpy about the DS for a bit. When we got home with the baby I thought everything was fine. My videogaming has become purely about the handheld stuff and Henry Hatsworth continues to be a nice distraction. One day though I forgot it at home.
On that day, I came home to a very smug look on my wife’s face; “The dog ate your stupid game I’m afraid” she said.
“Hunh?” I replied incredulously, “that can’t be.” Panic was starting to build as, let’s be honest, I’m fairly addicted to videogames and seeing as it’s just not practical to fire up my PS3 and get into an online race in Dirt 2, the DS is all I’ve got to scratch my gaming itch and Henry Hatsworth is fucking addictive as hell once you start upgrading your skills and health.
“I’m sorry honey, but the dogs were barking, the baby was crying, someone rang the doorbell, and I put a sandwich down beside your game on the coffee table to go answer it. When I came back, the sandwich and your game were both gone.” She then gestured at one of our dogs, the bitch in fact, a border collie golden retriever cross, who eats pretty much anything. The Lab is a little more discerning, he just eats Hot Wheels Cars.
“But but but, it was in the DS.” I said.
“I took it out to play some Sudoku and I just left the cartridge on the table. Again honey, I am sorry.” I really started to feel uncomfortable and an incredible resentment started to grow towards Willow the game-eater. “If it’s any help, I just let the dogs out in the backyard so, well, you could…go check for…”
“Check for what?” I asked, clearly I was in shock.
“It might have y’know…passed?” And she smiled encouragingly at me.
…
…
“Oh!” I finally got what she was getting at, and rushed outside to go all CSI and search for evidence in the backyard. What followed for the next hour was fairly humiliating. Raking through dog shit in search of an NDS cartridge is not a fun activity, though it did remind me briefly of Ace Attorney, I gotta pick up another one of those. Eventually I became disheartened and decided to give up. Picking through leaves and excrement was just depressing and when I turned towards the house, there was my wife standing at the window holding the baby and laughing at me. When I frowned at her, she raised her hand to show me through the window that she was holding an NDS game in her other hand.
I was too happy about the game to be pissed. What’s the moral of this story? Don’t piss off my wife. Now apparently there is an angry message from a maternity ward nurse about a game I recommended that I need to return.
Image: Flikr/ginnerrobot
good piece, as always.
“to excel at something just makes your boss add it to your daily routines”. ;-)
@NoZart: your insight is frightening ;)
U nasty gurl ;)
Haha, glad to see this is back.
Also, SANDVICH!