Francis "njsykora"
Critique, iGames Sunday, June 14th 2009

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So, Xbox Live Indie Games is going to be the new name for this service once we get into August. Can’t say I’m thrilled but the user ratings coming at the same time should make things interesting. Of course, they’ll have to be pretty damn good to convince me that user reviews are actually worth the time it took to read them.

Bestseller time and MyFishtank has vomited all over the #1 spot, the first time RC-AirSim has been kept down at week’s end since its release. The best performance from last week’s crop is Illusions 360, which says a lot about what people buy around here. Constructor finds itself just outside the top 10 though, silver linings and all that.

Whack Em in a Hole
Thomas Woo – 200 Points

Hmm, a whack a mole game to start the week. Not particularly interesting but it does utilise the Rock Band drum controller which makes things a little more justifiable. However it’s still whack a mole, all the combo systems and big controllers can’t change that. Still, some points for effort.

Try It (with the drumkit)

A Moron’s Challenge
Arcarocket – 200 Points

The real moron challenge is this, did you just pay 200 points for the flash game “The Idiot Test?” Well if you buy this game then yes, yes you did. Moron.

Leave to Die

Eyecandy: Chromadose
Polychrome – 200 Points

Screensaver. Moving on.

Leave to Die

Plasma TV Break In
Zenfar – 200 Points

See above. The break in part of the title refers to the period during which a new plasma TV is to having still images being burnt onto the screen as the plasma hardens. More info is here.

Leave to Die

Golden Royal Hold ‘Em
Star Gaming Network – 400 Points

Yep, it’s poker. First time I’ve seen Omaha rules in a console poker game incidentally so points would be scored for that if I didn’t think Omaha was a pointless waste of time. Other than that the usual online mode that no-one’s playing because XBLA has it’s own poker game in addition to the free play sections of every poker site in the world ever and the most useless poker AIs I’ve ever seen add up to a giant waste of time.

Leave to Die

Jigsaw World
Eduardo Jimenez – 400 Points

Arcade fans will no doubt remember Puzzle Arcade from earlier in the year, a fine game which hit the right spots for all puzzle fans from the hardcore 400 piece nerds to the 12 videogame fans. This is a kinda stripped down version of that game, however for all its similarities this game struggles by having a poor sorting system where only 4 pieces are visible at any one time. Compared to Puzzle Arcade this is just extremely disappointing. Worth a look if you only have 400 points and could never get any more ever.

Try It

Revenge of the Evil Aliens
Harald Maassen – 200 Points

Never, ever put the description of your game as “The Long Awaited Sequel!” because it’s probably not long awaited and just shows off your ego for what it is. Anyway this is a pretty uninspired scrolling dual stick XNA shooter the likes of which I have to play at least once a week.

Leave to Die

The Galactic Aquarium
GoGo Robot – 200 Points

Wait! Come back! Yes it says aquarium in the title and yes we’ve had 3 of these now in the space of 3 weeks but this one is different. This is effectively Viva Pinata Aquarium. You buy fish from the shop, either as food for bigger fish or to breed into new species and sell for mucho cash. While the only real point of the game is to make lots of money (yay capitalism) it has the same mesmerising quality as Viva Pinata. For 200 points this is well worth it.

Buy It!

OK, I just gave a positive review to an aquarium. Let’s see if my credibility sticks around for the rest of the article.

Mind’s Eye of Jupiter Episode 1
Rogerst – 200 Points

A few weeks ago Jonny Crush proved that while FPS games aren’t impossible on XNA it’s going to take some serious effort to make a good one. So Mind’s Eye of Jupiter uses the same first person view and feels very similar when moving around, but this is an adventure game instead of a shooter. Tracking down items is weirdly fun in the first person viewpoint and it’s made easier when you’re told through an on screen message when you’re near a useful item. Add in some hilariously self-aware writing and this is a steal for 200 points.

Buy It!

Starfighter
Cilcoder – 200 Points

Yet another insipid XNA shooter to bore the pants off me. This one doesn’t even carry the usual “shooter novices may enjoy it” because it’s….so….damn….slow….

Leave to Die

unRevolutionary
Julio9 – 400 Points

If this came out as a boxed game I would buy a copy, go up to any XNA developer making a shooter and smack them round the face with it screaming “This is how it’s fucking done!” because this has officially ripped away Biology Battle’s crown as the best shooter on Community Games. A number of different ship types, all with different abilities plus a RPG style levelling system plus the sort of homing AI that works so well in this sort of game PLUS some excellent level structure makes this an incredible success. So much so in fact that this next bit is going in ALL CAPS and I’m putting it in bold as well.

BUY IT!

Battle Ball
Jhample – 200 Points

Pong with guns. It really is as simple as that, landing a shot on your opponent slows their paddle down and makes it easier to score. It’s a neat idea and one I haven’t seen before, but (and I can’t believe I’m about to say this) there are better Pong games on CG. Yet at the same time, it’s still just pong.

Leave to Die

Puzzwords
Mr Brian – 200 Points

Word games are common on impulse buying services like CG or the iPhone app store. Word Soup is the big one, but Puzzwords occupies a very different space. That space is the one filled up with insanely hard word games for people who eat dictionaries for breakfast and then have a thesaurus for lunch. Letters drop down in groups of 3 which must then be arranged Columns style to form words horizontally, vertically or diagonally. When a word is made it’s definition appears in a window to the side which is very nice when what you think is in fact a random assortment of 3 letters turns out to be an actual word. The multiplayer, which gives you a list of 10 words and challenges you to make them before your opponent makes their list is also very good, adapting the base gameplay into some fast paced battle gameplay. It’s a very impressive package, but I’d only recommend it to the word game hardcore.

Try It

13 games with some really impressive stuff in there. Just a shame the bad games are real stinkers this week. Game of the week is unRevolutionary without any shadow of a doubt. You should buy it, then send flowers, chocolates and offers of sexual favours to it’s creators. See you next week.